Friday, January 11, 2008

heartless and cold

EDIT: And if you think my mom wouldn't do such a thing on purpose, think again. She's the kind of person who would put a poor helpless little kitty which was abandoned by it's mom, out in the cold and alone. And if it died, it wouldn't faze her at all.

I've always known my mom was a cold heartless bitch but I didn't know how much until earlier this morning when I wake up to the sounds of my brother calling my handphone and banging on the door to my room.

it is now 3.42am when I write this. I still hope against all hope that they are still alive but logic tells me they're probably long dead.

I wake up from barely enough sleep, less than two hours in fact, and stumble down to the car porch to find what he found when he came back. A tumbled over box with its remains spilled on the ground. Dread hit my stomach and I started ranting and crying at the same time. I went around the neighborhood walking around looking here and there for them, maybe they escaped running, who knows, but I didn't find them. Zilch, nada.

My mom has always hated animals. she disliked them with a vengeance. We'd been keeping the hamsters in a larger container box as their initial box was too small and wasn't suited for hamsters. especially two. Their current one had the lid taken off. We'd always kept them in the house regardless and changed the bedding once it started to smell. And we'd already occasionally find them placed outside, but that was in a fully-enclosed box so nothing happened.

Apparently tonight, after 1 month plus of my helping my friend keep them in my care, she'd put them outside. And that is akin to PURE MURDER.

God, how inhuman and heartless can she be? Are human beings so capable of such pure heartlessness they'd let defenseless young innocent animals that took up so little breathing space in this world as to be negligent, to offer them to die horrifyingly by the jaws of some other more predatory animal? Animals, one of which was pregnant, and was given into your care?

You care for them, you feed them, you give them shelter and they provide you warmth in their pure innocence and to be taken so heartlessly and dying in such a terrifyingly horrible way...

HOW CAN SHE NOT KNOW? HOW COULD SHE?

If she didn't like them I could have just given them away or taken them away the next day. She could have just thrown a tantrum. But not like this. I'll never forgive her for this. I can't believe she could be so heartless. She knows its my friends', one of them at least, and still she did that. She's a monster. She's not a human. She's a monster in human skin. I hate her for this.

My dear hamsters, I'm sorry for this. I'm sorry I didn't already separate two of you; maybe one of you could have survived in one of the other cages. I'm sorry I didn't keep you in my room. I'm sorry, if you are dead already. I'm sorry if you are dead that you had to die so horribly. I'm sorry for the unborn young. I'm sorry you couldn't have died a peaceful death. I'm sorry that I'm going to have to explain how you died to my friend.

I'm so sorry, things couldn't have been different.


God rest their poor little souls.


It's cold, my sleep is disturbed, it's now 4:11 am, I have an interview less than 6 hours away, and my eyes are all puffy and red and swollen. I feel horrible, tired and empty.

POST: my brother, me and my dad are all angry and rather pissed at my mother for the death of such poor defenseless, harmless animals. Would you want to die horribly eaten alive and barely able to do anything about it? Think of Hannibal Lecter.

5 comments:

SH Wee @ AK said...

my condolences. may not know how to help but do tell us. Regards.

pcy said...

ur mom disliked animals but not untill she wanted them all died gua... Last time, my cousin gave 2 hamsters, had 3 little hams then but 1 suddenly gone. few weeks later, hams' dad died. 2 little hams gave back to my cousin. We tot the only one left female hamster is easier to take k but also was dead months later. Since tat, we didn't keep any hamster...don hv enough ability to take k such weak mouse..

pcy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nerdrazor said...

requiescat in pace.

intel said...

Wow. Harsh. Mine also ran away but no one to be blame as lil cousin was still small and she forgot to lock the cage and the hamsters ran off to freedom or the other way.

I can't say much then. Best wishes to you.